the song explains it all

so, i was listening to REM's bad day and it pretty much clicked with me. that sort of manic energy that you get when you are "not alright" sometimes. i did the sad car dancing.

i just don't know what to say right now.

i packed a bag after work. by 8, i was going to leave for madison unless something happened. then Nate called and i was like "ok, i guess i could do something tonight." but i still have the itchy feeling that i need to get out of the city. i feel empty and i need to be not here.

so i'm not sure if i had any intention of coming back from this roadtrip i decided on after work. i don't think i planned on coming back. i'll probably keep the bag packed just in case i need to get away. i hate this right now. i hate the sadness i feel and i hate that i don't want to be around people but i want someone to drag me out of this. i just need to lay in bed and be held.